The Spanner

A mature fresher with a multipack of condoms

Optimistic Fresher Buys 24 Pack Of Condoms

Fresh faced and buzzing after his Leaving Cert results, new college student and purchaser of condoms Mike Stern has already begun preparations for college life. Stern, 18, will be attending NUIG studying a cour...

Parents Bankrupt After Immersion Left On

Despite their many warnings, the O'Donnell parents, Shane and Julie, have found themselves declaring bankruptcy after their children failed to turn off the immersion. "Every day I'd tell them," Julie says, "eve...

Celebrity Deaths- 2016 Strikes Again

O Death, pray, cease your restless hand. Too cruel a year it's been Answering your demand. Woe, how familiar 'tis To hear you've struck again; How with one sharp, swift blow you've robbed another ge...

Man Sues RTE For Losing Appetite During Six One News

A dinner left cold, a man still fuming. Thomas O’Connor, a resident of Dublin 8, is seeking full compensation after he suffered a loss of appetite while viewing the RTE: Six One News. The recent series of wo...

Exclusive: The Deleted Scenes of X-Men: Apocalypse

Whether it be at the hands of a Bruce Willis straddled asteroid in Armageddon, or because of some really rather bleak weather in The Day After Tomorrow, humanity has shown that it is almost perversely fixated o...