Enda Kenny Archives

“Time For Someone Else To Have A Go At Fucking Up The Country”- Enda Kenny

Enda Kenny announced that he, as of midnight last night, was to step down as Fine Gael party leader, and thus as Taoiseach. He is to continue as acting Taoiseach until 2nd June when his successor will be decide...

Kenny Invites Trump To Ireland In Final ‘F*** You’ To His Successor

Enda Kenny has today tried to defend his decision to invite Donald Trump to Ireland on an official state visit. Although many people have seen it as the actions of someone who, while in the process of handin...

Trump And Kenny Compare Comb-Over Tips In Phone-Call

Taoiseach Enda Kenny congratulated Mr. Trump yesterday on his Presidential Election via the Green Phone: Ireland's direct hotline to the White House. A source inside the minister's cabinet has leaked details...

Kenny Says “Repeal 8th” After Traumatic Food Baby Abortion

Enda Kenny, like a man who has accidentally walked in on his parents making sweet, elderly love, has made a swift U-turn. Mr. Kenny, part-leader of the Irish Republic part-living personification of a scare-crow...

Whingers Apologise to Enda Kenny, Announce New Direction

CASTLEBAR: Representatives of the local Whingers and Begrudgers Association have formally apologised to Enda Kenny after being exposed for their shameful behaviour. "We unreservedly apologise for spreading t...

Gardaí Rescue Enda Kenny After He Accidentally Locks Himself in Bathroom

In wake of the recent dissolution of the Dáil, incumbent Taoiseach, Enda Kenny has spent most of his free time living in relative peace and quiet, however, approximately 24 hours ago, Gardaí and SWAT ...

The Dáil Bar: Awkward scenes as Enda Kenny orders an ‘Irish Car Bomb’ next to Gerry Adams

You could hear a pin drop with the silence in the Dáil Bar yesterday after Taoiseach Enda Kenny shouted at the bartender for the offensively named cocktail, ‘Irish Car Bomb’. Not only had the Taoiseach ordered ...

Motion of Confidence vote ended with a governmental circle jerk around Enda Kenny

Tuesday saw the Taoiseach, Enda Kenny, facing a vote of confidence by members of the Dáil. The motion was proposed by the bitter element of the Sinn Féin party who after years of being ignored in school have ta...

Government to get Dr. Phil in to “sort things out with the people”

Enda Kenny is set to bring in the aid of TV life guru Dr. Phil McGraw to make things right with the common man. The approach is a list ditch effort by the government. Despite an upturn in the economy of rece...

It is now illegal for the homeless community to make eye contact with Christmas shoppers

Festive shoppers in the nation’s capital can take solace in the fact that the government have passed a new law that means it is now illegal for the nation’s homeless people to make eye contact with the public a...

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