3. The Special Snowflake
He’s seen Fight Club, memorised Catcher In The Rye and idolises Richard Dawkins. These have brainwashed him into believing that you want to have his opinion force-fed to you all day, every day. He will refer to “sheeple” and the light of the full moon will cause him to morph into his true, dreaded form: the fabled “fedora neckbeard”, with the blood-curdling cry of “m’lady” ringing in your ears as you try and fail to escape.