Internet news – Don’t believe the hypertext!


by ✖ Daniel Rehn

According to the news, digital natives – which is us, btw – believe everything we see on the internet.

Well that’s a slight exaggeration. But if you are a proper, paid-up member of generation Z, the one thing that you will take away from this is the last thing that you read. So for now, that means you’ll believe everything that’s written here simply because it is actually written here.

According to findings from some researchers somewhere (OfCom, since you ask) most people under 15 believe everything that the internet tells them. The research also says that 15 year olds are spending twice as much time online compared to what they were doing ten years ago.

Since they’d only have been five years old at most back then and barely able to even spell “Google” that doesn’t sound like the biggest news story out there. Likewise, according to the research – which we are bound to point out has been published on the internet – kids are about as thick as two USB sticks.

As research goes, this is the sort of thing you’d even be embarrassed to hand in with a hangover.

In other news…

Star Wars fans are celebrating not only the release of the latest leg of George Lucas’ fancy dress bonanza but also the way that real life is increasingly imitating their favourite filmic art form. If galactic credits seemed like a good idea in a galaxy far, far away, they’re an even better idea close to pay day. Have you heard of Bitcoin? It’s virtual money that doesn’t really exist – except it does – just like in Star Wars. It’s the sort of idea that has been proven in big shiny labs to actually melt the brains of anyone born before 1980. There is even a new online casino – – which only lets you play in Bitcoin. Imagine if the Moss Eisley Cantina had been a casino. That would be one memorable night out!

Meanwhile, there is good news for Harry Potter fans – Potterfiles!  At long last you will be able to download audible copies of the wonky-wanded wizard’s adventures courtesy of Audible. Stephen – not QI – Fry narrates the English versions although there is also a US edition voiced by Jim Dale – an actor who no one has heard a peep out of since he made his mark amidst the slapstick silliness of the Carry-On films of the 1960s and 1970s. Obviously, that reference will mean nothing to those 15 year old’s we were talking about, which is a shame because although it sounds like a made up fact it is true – really. Look!

And just in case… remember that what Stephen Fry tells you isn’t actually true (except in QI when it is), and that jumping off the top of tall buildings holding nothing but a broom handle is not a good idea – As JKR would put it – longtimeintractionsaballache!

Just because it says you can do it on the internet doesn’t mean you can. Like they say – digital natives don’t have to believe the hypertext.

Ben Warrow



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