By Killian O’Boyle
Calls for a local councillor’s election poster to be removed happened earlier today after the councillor’s chosen photo was unanimously deemed an eyesore by the local population. Running as an independent, Maurice Fitzpatrick was granted permission to post his campaign posters around the east wall area of Dublin, but his chosen candidate photo has been deemed obscene by locals due to its unflattering nature.
“I was going to vote for Maurice but… is that really the best photo he has of himself?” commented one East Wall local. “He looks like he just came back from a two-week bender and immediately came down with some kind of illness that scientists have yet to discover.” Other locals have begun graffitiing the posters, which have made him look better than the original photo ever did. However, the legality of these improvements has been called into question by electoral officials.
“Vandalism is common when it comes to political posters unfortunately, but we’ve found that this particular candidate’s poster isn’t being vandalised for any political stance,” stated current Dublin County councillor Sean McWeeney. “It just boils down to the state of him. Even I’ve had a go at drawing a moustache on him to be honest. He just has this look on his face that sends me into this unbridled rage.”
Maurice Fitzpatrick has hit back against the claims, saying that despite his lack of technical knowledge on how to operate his phone to take a good photo and his lack of judgement in posting said photo all around the area, that he would still make a good candidate. “You’ve seen me at my worst,” commented Mr Fitzpatrick at a local rally, “Now imagine me at my best! Now multiply that by a hundred. Hypothetically, that’s how good I am.”
Due to the new legislative ground that this problem occurred in, new guidelines will be introduced to electoral campaign posters, requiring a candidate’s chosen photo to at least attempt a smile bigger than a 2° angle but no larger than a 35° angle.