Weight gain and fitness are a constant struggle when you’re living a life filled with cans, pasta and bad decisions. Fortunately, advancements in scientific health research have made fitness and slimming down a lot easier. Here at The Spanner, we’ve compiled a list of the best tips, just for you.


  1. Stop eating out of your cattle trough. Switch it for a plate and you’ll find yourself eating smaller portions.



2. Instead of taking the escalator, try climbing up the sides of buildings



3. Try doing whatever Mark in the office is doing, he looks fantastic!


Isn’t he lovely?



4. Try on that outfit you wore to your confirmation. When it gets stuck at your ankles, cry a little bit, and think about where it all went wrong.



5. Become more mindful of what you’re putting into your gob, by saying three hail Mary’s and an Our Father between each bite



6. Fall out with one of your housemates, then hide all your sweet treats in their room. Make sure you do something awful to them, so you really won’t feel like going in


7. Stop getting the bus and taxis everywhere when you could just roll to your destination


8. If you fail at your healthy eating plan, always remember you can start again in January. Wayheyy!