Behind every great college is a great bar.
Forget about the lectures, the assignments, those awkward society meetings where you go to desperately try and find new friends in first year; some of your best times as a student will likely be spent in the student bar.
It doesn’t matter if you’re drinking, eating, or just looking to kill sometime in the middle of the day. This will be a safe haven for you to do what students do best – procrastinate and avoid responsibilities.
As the meeting point for a variety of different students in college life, you’ll more than likely recognise at least a few of these typical characters from your local.
9am on a Monday? 3pm on a Thursday? This guy even shows up at the weekends, or at least you assume he would if you happened to be there.
He/she is always the person you see there every time without fail. He might be an alcoholic, or maybe he just likes the atmosphere. Either way, you walk in the front door and he’s there.
Nobody really knows why either? Does he even have lectures to go to? Does he actually spend 12 hours a day here? They’re an enigma, but chances are you’ll like them all the same.
THE POOL PLAYER
Most of us are partial to the odd game of pool every now and again in the bar, but you’ll have no chance if your college bar has enough of these knocking about.
They go here with this one and only mission in mind. They will be there all day and feel no guilt or shame whatsoever about it.
You probably don’t even know them that well. They could be a modern-day saint for all you know, but that doesn’t stop you from cursing them under your breath every time you walk up and see a tower of €1 coins on the table.
One day, you’ll see that table empty, but you might be waiting a long time.
THE FIRST YEAR
Obviously, you’ll see a lot of first years in the bar, but they’re excitement at entering this new world can be spotted from a mile away.
“It’s 11am and we’re drinking pints” or “Ah sure, doesn’t matter if we’re a little drunk for our first lecture” are common phrases you’ll probably hear from the average first year in your bar.
You can’t blame them either. They’ve just entered a whole new world of freedom and opportunity. There are few greater moments in life than the realisation that you’re not in the airport, but you can still drink pints in the early afternoon if you so please.
Enjoy it, freshers. Mountains of assignments and the creeping dread of the real word are just around the corner.
THE CRAFT BEER W**KER
Craft beer is brilliant, let’s make that perfectly clear.
However, you’re really going to stick out like a sore thumb if you’re the one drinking a chocolate-infused-double IPA in a student bar of all places.
There’s always one though. Most student bars are now offering at least one craft option for the beer hipster among us, because it’d be a crime if they just drank cheap Fosters like the rest of us.
If you’re going to have a craft beer, that’s fine so long as you don’t be the one who also goes on about how your beverage is infinitely superior to ours.
It’s here when one enters ‘craft beer-w**ker’ territory. We advise you don’t cross this dangerous line.
THE GAA LAD
Full tracksuit? Check. Gear bag? Check. A slight country accent? Check.
The GAA lad can be spotted from a mile away. The GAA lad always travels in a pack, and can easily identified by wearing the same county/college colours at all times.
Do they have five identical hoodies, or do they just constantly wash the same one? You don’t ask, you just go along with it. Every college has them though, and they’re not going away anytime soon.
THE DRUNK ONE
It’s a bar, so you might think it’s a little obvious to claim that there is going to have drunk people present.
This character is different though, as even students draw attention when they’re heavily intoxicated at two in the afternoon after drinking one pitcher too many.
The drunk one gets bonus points for showing up to their late afternoon lecturers in this state, but this isn’t recommended.
If you’re the drunk one, own it. Enjoy yourself, and just regret all of your life decisions the morning after. Someone else will be there to fill your shoes the next time.
THE STUDENT BARMAN
God bless this hero. You really have to feel for him.
Inevitably, there’s always going to be a few students working in the bar between lectures in order to make ends meet, but it really is a thankless job.
You’re in college, you want to be the one on the other side of the bar enjoying your youth, not serving your peers doing exactly what you want to be doing.
Spare a thought for this trooper as your sipping your pints. They really deserve all of our praises.
THE REGULAR ONE
If you haven’t recognised yourself under any of these categories, congratulations! You’re normal!
You show up, chat to mates, enjoy a drink, and leave. You’re not boring, you just have a good time.
Now let’s all go for a pint…