Fine Gael is to jump on the back of numerous projections that Ireland will have a white Christmas this year, by charging people for the snow.
“We’re happy that Obama’s keeping all our illegal lads over there, but he missed a trick with all the snow that’s coming down around New York.” Taoiseach Enda Kenny said.
“Recreational snow use” will now be legislated also. All snowmen will have to be documented and Gardai will be commissioned with blow torches to eradicate any threat of revolt.
The new announcement will cause much consternation in Irish homes, but Kenny has insisted that the charge should not be overblown by the media.
“We all know the Irish Weather Forecast is far from reliable, so we might not even get snow.
Remember, snow is just hard cold, fuzzy water after all. So it’s nothing new that we’re charging for it”
The move is widely reported to be a pre-emptive action against the inevitable snow ball attacks that will accompany protests during the winter months.
“If the public choose to engage us with snow balls, we will charge them for it through their hole.” Kenny murmured.
Kenny is to introduce a tax on the word “wanker” for similar reasons.