The nation was on the brink of emergency Friday morning when the click bait content creators,, reported that the first suspected case of Ebola had landed on the emerald isle. As the very vague report hit screens across the country this morning, it looked like Ireland would have to brace itself for a devastating endemic.

However, as the morning went on, it became clear that the were talking through their hoop. A startled HSE press officer this morning that, “Jesus, I didn’t hear anything about that. Normally the hospital people tell me when something major like that happens. I suspect the person who wrote that sensationalist article is talking through their BBQ Hula Hoop. Trust me, if Ebola was here I’d be on the plane by now”.

The later went on to report that the suspected case had been ruled out by the HSE. Despite the fact that the HSE had never alluded to the fact that this patient was thought to of have contracted the deadly disease. The felt that Ebola had arrived in the country after their Senior Sensationalist Headline Correspondent called in to work this morning saying that he will not be in due to Ebola like symptoms. has a long history of making up stories on the spot in order to garner more readers, this means we can sympathise with the position that the are in at the moment. The problem with talking through your hoop is that you leave an awful mess behind after.