This is a challenging topic and one most of us try to avoid doing at all costs and I can see why – it’s awkward, are they going to cry, will they hit me, will they cause a scene, what do I say…
All these questions and no answers until you actually bite the bullet and just do it.
But fear not, I’m here today to help you in the best way I can; give you some avice and help you through possibly one of the most difficult things to do.
Things to Keep in Mind
So, you’ve had a good run and decided that this relationship is no longer for you; you’re not feeling the love anymore and basically just want to be single again. Hey, I get it and I am most certainly not here to judge.
But how do you do it?
- Be sure that you actually want to end the relationship. There’s nothing worse than ending it with your partner and realising you’ve made a mistake and must beg for them to take you back.
- Prepare for the fact that the person may not want to be friends with you and may need their space before speaking to you again.
- Make sure to have a legitimate reason and something you can explain to the other person because they may ask questions and you need to be able to explain WHY you’re ending it.
- It may also help to compose a list of positives and negatives to the relationship to help you decide why you’ve concluded you want to end it.
- You need to be able to let the person react how they feel they want to react – whether that is screaming or crying or causing a scene, you need to try your best to remain calm.
What Not to Do
Before diving into how you’re going to go about this, let’s look at what NOT to do.
- Do not post it to social media.
- Don’t text it – do it in person.
- Don’t tell people/friends before you’ve done it – chances are they’ll find out and it will not go down well.
How to Do It
Right, down to the nitty gritty.
- Communicate your frustrations and reasons as to they you’ve chosen to make this decision, but make sure not to blame them, as this could escalate things.
- As I’ve already said, do it in person – I cannot stress this enough! You owe it to the person to tell them in person and be prepared for their reactions.
- Make sure to do it in a private setting so that you both feel comfortable enough to express your emotions.
- Be honest if you have decided to leave them for someone else. Be as open as possible and keep them in the loop.
- Lastly, be short, swift and direct – like ripping off a plaster.
- Be prepared for messages and the phone calls you might receive – but remember to keep it short – you’ll be doing them no favours by feeding into their crying and pleading. But whatever you do, DON’T be mean. They are going through a tough time.
- If you are with someone new, don’t put it all over social media, let the other person grieve without having to see your new squeeze. This may sound unfair and you may argue that they should just delete you altogether, but let’s face it – they’re not strong enough to do it straight away and you wouldn’t be either.
- Leave them alone. By messaging them to check on them, while the sentiment is nice, you’re giving them the hope that there still may be something there, when you know there isn’t.
It will be a hard time for both of you and you need to remember that, especially if there was no other party involved or some big thing leading up to it.
You are allowed to feel the way you do, and you may also need time, so be sure to also take care of yourself.
By Tahlia Peppard