The field of wheat mentioned by Theresa May during her recent interview on ITV’s Tonight show has sought to distance itself from its alleged association with the under-fire PM.
Nigel Slattery, a lawyer speaking on behalf of the field of wheat has claimed that the wheat has never “knowingly played host to any hi-jinx or tom-foolery on the part of the leader of the Conservative Party”.
It is understood the field of grain is seeking to sue for libel, saying that its reputation has been irreparably damaged by the unfounded association.
“This is the worst thing to happen to this field since that swarm of locusts or the time when they found the shallow grave,” continued Mr. Slattery.
It has been reported that the farmer who owns the patch of glorified grass in question is considering resorting to burning the crop, claiming that it is now worthless.
“Ain’t no man nor woman nor child who’d wana eat bread made from this wheat now after they know she’s been rummaging about in it. It’s all worthless,” he told reporters.
Photographs have emerged purportedly showing the Prime Minister as a child standing in the field; however doubts have since been raised after it’s been claimed that the photograph simply depicts a sort of haunted looking scarecrow in the field.