5 Things From Childhood We Took For Granted

As a young twenty-something, I often feel like I am still a child and am nowhere near REAL adulthood and responsibility. (I still don’t fully understand how a mortgage works, and I recently made pasta-bake using a wok because I felt that buying a dish was an ‘unnecessary expense’.)

But when I think back to childhood me, it becomes abundantly clear that I am in no way a kid anymore. And it’s depressing as hell. Remember when wondering whether you’d ever get your Pokemon cards back from that bitch Dervla in third class was your biggest worry?

Those were the days.

Anyway, are you ready for extreme nostalgia?

Here are some kid-exclusive things I will miss as I venture into the black hole of impending debt and relentless mom-jeans that is grown-up living.


Spilling Yoghurt Down Your Front And Giving Zero F*cks

You’ve had a tough morning of singing Alive O songs and reciting your times tables, and you can’t wait to get that lunch INTE YIH – you saw your mom pack in a couple of BNBNs, so you couldn’t be more buzzing.

But first you have to tackle that Frube. Oh, the struggle. You still haven’t fully mastered the skill of opening it, but are hoping that today will be the day your jumper is left unscathed by yoghurt stains. You carefully remove the top, pulling it ever so gent – NOPE, STILL SLOPPED IT ON MY JUMPER.

Oh well. Better luck next time.



Having Fun Using Only Your Imagination

At what age do you lose the ability to make-believe that you are actually a bad-ass princess that owns a pet dragon called Fluffy?

You could literally lose yourself in a game for HOURS, with nothing to play with but your delightfully weird mind.

Adults are so boring. Childhood me would be so disappointed to know that I now sit and drink coffee with my friends instead of having an in depth, exclusive, game of Scuba Diving Barbies.


Getting Up At The Crack Of Dawn To Watch Cartoons

Weekends were the BEST. Your parents liked to ‘sleep in’ (a completely alien concept to you) so you had full reign over the telly for the entire morning.

You followed the Gospel According to Cartoon Network: Dexter’s Lab, Courage the Cowardly Dog and Cow & Chicken were mandatory morning viewing. Sometimes you flicked over to The Den to see wdc was with Socky and Dustin, or to see if your picture was featured on the ‘Draw With Don’ section. (BUT IT NEVER WAS, cry.)

These days you rush to your shitty retail job smelling of last night’s sambucca and regret, instead of chilling with a bowl of Frosties in front of the box of a Saturday morning.


When Your Classmate Goes On Holiday And Brings Back Sweets For The Whole Class

Aisling just got back from a trip to Lanzarote, and everyone is majorly jel of her cornrows and fading henna tattoo. But wait… What’s that she’s handing the teacher? SWEETS?

The whole class goes ballistic. They haven’t seen a sweet since Ciaran went to EuroDisney in October, thanks to that stupid healthy eating policy the school brought in.

The excitement is palpable, and you cherish those two hard candies like they were gold-dust.



Having A Birthday Party And Knowing You’ll Be Rolling In The Dolla Billz

You still have birthday bashes, but it is now obligatory for the guests to bring their own booze as opposed to a gift for yours truly.

God be with the days when you used to bring the whole squad bowling and then out for pizza after, discussing scandal such as Sarahh in sixth class getting her tragus pierced without telling her parents.

And even better than the party itself – getting home and inspecting the goods. Your mom always insisted it’s not about the presents, it’s the thought that counts…but you never bought into that.


Somebody please remind me why I EVER wanted to transition from innocent child to stressed out adult..?


Jade O’Leary