Places of worship reopen this week and the Church has been granted permission to distribute the Holy Communion as long as it is done safely. The manner deemed to be safest is via Pez dispenser.

A slice of normality comes into view this week for places of worship as restrictions moved down from level 5 to level 3. This means that places such as Churches will be able to admit up to 50 people max into their facilities.

But with this reopening of places of worship comes talks of a new, safer way to deliver religious services. A spokesperson for the Church approached Government bodies last week to ask if ‘a Church’s flock can receive the Eucharist?’

‘Absolutely not… unless the Holy Ghost can be distributed in a safe manner that adheres to social distancing rules’, said a Fine Gael member.

The Spokesperson for the Church proposed that the Eucharist could be distributed individually through the air!

‘Go on.’

The Spokesperson produced a Donkey Kong Pez dispenser loaded with Eucharists and let them fly to show that they could, in fact, reach 2 meters and enter peoples’ mouths. ‘It also facilitates those who prefer to receive the Holy Ghost on their tongue’, he added.

With this excellent display, the Government agreed that Holy Ghost could be distributed as long as it is done via Pez dispenser and that it would also be great if the Priests could liven up the scene a bit by adding in a ‘Pew Pew’ sound as they shot the Eucharists into the mouths of their flock.

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