This is a topic very close to all of our hearts here at oxygen.ie – it may be quite a risky one, so lets start by pointing out that we do not intend to offend anybody. Through years of observation, we’ve concluded that there are many different types of tea drinkers. For your convenience, we have divided these into categories below. We hope that this may aid people to find their inner passion for tea, and to figure out who they really are.
1.The Slurpers
These people like to add sound affects to the drinking of their tea in hope that it will help everybody else in the room appreciate how delicious it is.
2. Tea Huggers
Do you caress your tea, hold it with both hands, and luxuriate in its comforting mammy-ish warmth? Tea huggers tend to do this, instead of ever actually finishing the drink.
3. Hardcore Drinkers
These drinkers are too tough to add any milk and drink it as black as charcoal. Usually, no matter what the conversation is, they find a way to announce the fact that they don’t take milk.
Eg. Mary: “Tesco do great deals this weather”
John: “Yes, I find I save a lot of money on milk.. I don’t take it in my teas you see” *smug smile*
4. A drop of tea in my milk, please.
The opposite of the above, white tea lovers. Does anybody understand these species?
5. Sweet Tooth Sallies
We all know somebody who adds at least 40 spoons of sugar to their tea, making loads of noise clinking their spoon against the cup trying desperately to dissolve it all. To us, these sallies don’t actually treasure the true taste of tea, they just like sugar! Just like a bald man wearing a wig, they are in denial, poor sallies.
6. Ladies
Ladies silently sip. They have perfected the art of stirring, making sure to swish the spoon gently from side to side without touching the side of the china. When through stirring, they remove the spoon and place it on a saucer. Everybody loves a lady.
7. Non Tea Drinker
There is simply no excuse for this. To lead the life on a non-tea drinker, you must live a wretched life – not experiencing the comfort or pleasure of tea.