Some parts of  the country are boxed in this morning with nowhere to go, and with other areas set to follow suit in the coming days, here are some ideas of what to do.

1. First of all, stop masterbating. Life’s too short. That goes for you too, gentlemen.

2. See if you have the ingredients in your kitchen for a New York Cheesecake. If you have, look up instructions on how to make one.

3. Looking for something to watch on Netflix? The Thick of It. If you don’t laugh your ass off within the first 10 minutes then go outside and freeze.

4. Read a book. Oh, you don’t read? But you’ve always wanted to? You’re snowed in with nowhere to go – read a fucking book for once.

5. Do you have a piano? Learn how to play the Piano Man. You don’t need to know how to play the piano. Just use your fingers.

6. Revisit No. 1

7. Clean up. Look around, you pig.

8. Give your CV a makeover.

9. People reading this with a predilection for weed will have probably sparked up by now…Turn off Call of Duty. Listen to this, if you haven’t already.

10.You stoned now? Draw something. See what happens. You might be good.

11. Still stoned? Watch this and prepare to die laughing.

12. Now eat the Cheesecake. You’ve just gone to heaven.

13. Watch an documentary that you can regurgitate as knowledge to your friends. Fracking or something.

14. If the snow kept you in from work, take a minute every so often thinking about what mindless tedious nonsense you could be doing at that particular moment in time. Breathe a sigh of relief.

15. Look up Ryanair to see what cheap flights are going on. Don’t book anything if you’re still stoned.

16. Enter a competition in a field you have an interest in.

17. Try and perfect the somersault in a confined space. Use the sofa or bed as a source of leverage. You’ll be grand.

18. Try and watch/listen to Justin Bieber video full through.

19. Enjoy the great outdoors.