Cadbury’s has once again taken a chocolatey dump on their fans by changing the recipe of the Creme Egg. Their most recent act of treason, following on from changing the sacred 6 pack of creme eggs to a paltry 5 pack despite retaining the exact same consumer mark-up, is inspiring revolt amongst the Creme Egg scoffing masses.

The recipe change in question has been the Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate shell being switched to a plain cocoa mix.

Despite the change occurring 2 years ago – during which time sales for the treat have continued to soar – there was never any real discussion about the altering of inherent ingredients one would imagine such apparent connoisseurs might have noticed, were they not so busy guzzling them by the dozen like the gluttonous mindless pigs Cadbury’s takes us to be.


Instead the furore was sparked by an admission from Cadbury’s themselves. A spokesman for the company said “It’s no longer Dairy Milk. It’s similar, but not exactly Dairy Milk. We tested the new one with consumers. It’s basically animal waste and fag butts. But consumers liked it and it’s cheap so fuck it.”

Indeed, the egregious scandal has been making waves in the front of the papers, which is more than can be said about the 1200 jobs Cadbury’s have cut over the last 4 years in the country.

But of course, the public don’t care about that. Nor should they. Cadbury’ Creme Eggs are more important than any job. Creme Eggs are only available a few months of the year. Cynical dickheads and the lactose intolerant may argue that this is only due to Creme Eggs all-year availability producing comparatively poor sales, but those people are wrong.

Bring back the chocolatey goodness lacking in Creme Eggs, then we’ll talk about unemployment.