Dublin Bus

To catch your bus, arrive at your stop at whatever time you please despite the timetable or real time advice, because that bus will do the same and when it does, another will arrive at the same time. Sometimes the second one will see the first one pull in and decide that it will take everyone at the stop. The second bus proceeds to continue on its journey without stopping for anyone. The first bus driver will only let the first 3 people on because of how full it is, and if you aren’t one of those lucky few, you are stuck waiting another 15 minutes for the next bus to stop. A vicious cycle.

Don’t bet your luck on getting on the first bus that arrives at the stop. To successfully catch a Dublin bus, they must first ignore you desperately waving it down until eventually one stops and allows you to shove yourself into several strangers armpits aboard this yellow and blue sweat box all for the cheap price of €2.15.

At the end of the day, it is probably the best way to get around the city as there are hundreds of bus routes and many are fairly frequent, so we cant slate it too much.


Luas Red Line

When boarding a red line, don’t smile at the old lady boarding or wait and search for a space aboard the tram. Instead one must leave all of their compassion for the human race on the platform, tense your body and just push through the crowd like a bulldozer until you’ve gotten yourself nice and snug face first into a yellow pole.

A word of warning, never sit in the four seater sections. You’ll never gracefully get off a moving luas from there. Sit as near to the door as you can and keep your head down, remain alert and be ready for a quick dart to the door when you approach your stop.


Luas Green Line

Welcome to what could be deemed as upper class public transport in Dublin. When you are pressed face first into a strangers sweaty back they’ll at least say excuse me before they try to scoot around you to get off the tram.

Red Line Luas users experience a learning curve as people actually step ever so slightly out of your way on this tram and will not always plough straight through you. They will push you off in a more gentle way. As someone who’s vomited on the red line (I was feeling ill during a night out in fairness, I don’t just vomit on public transport for the craic), I’d never dream of allowing such a horror to happen on the green line. Cant have those snooty southsiders judging you as you bring your dodgy dinner up on the tram.


Dublin Bikes

Don’t bother with this. we’re not in Amsterdam. We’ve no idea what we’re at here. Fairplay to the people who do use them, but it just seems dangerous when there are huge buses and taxis swerving in and out of each other in the same lane as you on your small blue bike. They don’t even come with stabilizers either, as one poor tourist I walked by found out last week had to shamefully walk their bike about town.

Rachel Healy