How to Avoid Spoilers

So you missed the Game of Thrones finale…and well, considering it gets released at 2am on a Monday morning, you’re probably not the only one. But you shouldn’t be punished for being a responsible adult in bed on time for work the next day. And you definitely don’t deserve to have the whole show spoiled by one tweet…not after being a dedicated fan for years throughout all the heartbreak and drama. So I’m going to reward you by sharing my tips for avoiding any and all spoilers:

1. Social media is dangerous. Like really dangerous. Yeah, it’s cool that the internet brings the world together and lets people from all over the planet communicate with one another. But not so cool when everyone on one half of the world has already seen the finale and you haven’t yet. So shut down Twitter, log off Facebook and sign off Instagram. Avoid scrolling through Snapchat stories, and don’t even let me get started on Reddit. Honestly, just throw the whole phone away. And while you’re at it, smash your laptop screen. It’s the only way.

2. People are dangerous. Your friends, your co-workers, your family… chances are someone in your circle did in fact stay up last night to watch the finale. Or maybe someone told them. Or they made the mistake of checking Twitter. No matter how the show got spoiled for them, don’t let it spread to you. Call in sick to work, ignore your friends and hide from your family. Don’t trust anyone. Stay hidden until you’ve had the chance to watch the episode from start to finish.

3. Well ya. That’s basically it. Don’t talk to anyone and don’t touch your phone. Become a hermit hidden in your basement with no contact to the outside world. That’s literally the only way to avoid spoilers. Until you get around to watching the finale.

4. Oh. And once you do watch it, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

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