At approximately 18:45 on the 14th of November, Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams uploaded a video to his popular YouTube channel: ‘Story time with Gerry’.
Longtime fans of Adams were shocked to find that in place of his usual ‘Beard maintenance 101’ and “Get Ready With Gerry” tutorials, there was a video of an altogether different genre.
Adams called out UFC champion fighter, Conor McGregor, making remarks such as “I bet you’re on the waiting list for the Jeremy Kyle show!” and “You call THAT a beard?!”
However this was not simply uploaded to admonish McGregor; Adams ends the video by challenging McGregor to, as Adams put it, “A wee tussle!”
McGregor responded to Adams remarkably quickly, writing on his blog;
“Listen to me Gerry, ya jammy terrorist, I’ll rip tha’ beard of yer face and use it wipe up yer blood!”
Bookmakers across the country have expressed their delight as thousands of customers enter their doors to stand beside Conor ‘Notorious’ McGregor, and Gerry “The thunder from the North” Adams.
Rumours of a tag-team match were sadly dismissed when Adams confirmed that Mary Lou McDonald would not be joining him in the ring.
Sport analysts and MMA experts believe that despite McGregor’s experience in the ring, the time Adams has spent in the Dáil will make him a good match for the champion.
After hours of negotiation it was announced that staff behind both contenders have agreed upon the prize for whom should win.
If Adams can knock McGregor out, then he gets to fight Jose Aldo in his place. However in the event of McGregor subduing Adams he gets his seat in the Dáil.
Both parties have agreed that the fight will take place on this year’s Late Late Toy Show, with Dustin the Turkey as referee.
Brían Mannion is an 18 year old writer with a novel in production. You can see more of his work on his blog