‘Let them eat Kayak’ a government official said today when asked ‘are you sure this is what the people need? Shouldn’t you be providing long-term solutions for the problems we’re facing now like the housing crisis?’

Shoppers from the local area started buying fairy liquid by the boat load (pun intended) after the meeting with this official disbanded.

‘Are you having a bubble bath?’ one of our young reporters asked a shopper. ‘Something like that’, they replied.

It is unclear as to when construction of the white water rafting facility will begin, but we’re sure it’ll go swimmingly.

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