The loyal iFanbase woke up this morning to find that a brand new album by U2 had been uploaded to their iTunes. Apple fans are notorious for their individuality and many found that being force fed an album by a band that are so mainstream is an attack on their ‘hipster’ culture. The ‘MacAttacks’ as they like to call themselves, took to their Reddit boards to post witty memes about the album release and to discuss how they feel about how the album on their iTunes is an invasion of privacy and freedom to choose.

The anonymous spokesperson for the MacAttacks got in contact with HQ to discuss the album and what it will mean for the future of Apple fanatics. The person said, “I pay extortionate rates to get a computer that has less storage, and power, than a PC, so I can feel like an individual. PCs are so consumer orientated that you feel like you are just a part of the crowd. That’s why I, or should I say ‘i’, along with millions of others purchase these Apple machines that don’t allow modifications or don’t come in different colours, so that we can feel unique like a little iSnowFlake.”

The MacAttacks spokesperson felt that the U2 album was an intrusion on their uniqueness and that their iTunes library is now tainted. “Now when I go to listen to the Uber Godz on my iTunes, a German gangster-rap outfit made up of ex-ordained Catholic priests, I have to scroll past that muck which is fronted by the biggest narc on Earth”

“If I wanted something by Apple that is useless and a waste of time, I would go out and buy the Apple Watch.”

Bono has been quick to react to the criticism of the Apple fanatics by saying, “I don’t care. We got paid very handsomely for the deal and that money is probably why the new iPhones are ludicrously priced.”

Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, warned Apple users that this is just the beginning, “You are now too far into our web of misleading lies to escape now. Bill Gates won’t want you back; he’s too busy putting microchips into asteroids for an upcoming film with Johnny Depp to make you new products. You’re stuck with us and just you wait until we unveil the iPocketWatch next year.”