All across the country students have been making a concerted efforts at Golden Weeks and months at a time off the drink.

“No more joints for me, getting my head clear”

“No more shifting for me, keeping the mouth for eating salad”

“I’m heading to the gym 4 times a week so I can get the ride”

Nobody believes you.

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Here’s why New Years resolutions need to be scrapped.

Supposing you decide to take a month off the drink. It’s realistic, you’re not kidding yourself into thinking you can stay off the beer for a whole year, that would of course be ridiculous. So you stay strong throughout January, seeing all of your friends resolutions fall by the wayside within the first two weeks. You decline every invitation to have a free can put into your hand. All you can talk about is how difficult abstaining is as your friends roll their eyes in support.

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You’re on your own – but you’re still going. Week 3 and 4 pass, the withdrawal has worn off and you’re still alive.

How you crave that first drink.

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It’s the 1st of February, you get out of your last lecture in your first ever Golden Week – It’s time to get twisted.

You toss your books away and leg it home, kicking peoples dogs out of your way and stopping by the offy to pick yourself up a slab. You can afford it after not drinking for a month. You’re minted, actually. But it’s all been spent tonight because you’ve earned it.

Then you wake up.

Your jacket is ripped and laced with fag-burns, your head is pounding with not a shred of memory from the previous night inside it. You catch yourself in the mirror as you get up with a black eye and swollen cheek. Your wallet is completely empty. You head downstairs and get an ice cold reception, you’ve obviously made a few gaffes in your drunken stupor. And there’s no panadols left, so it’s time for a trip to the shop.

You overcompensated. All January’s hard earned work gone out the window and no recollection why.

Drink yourself silly throughout January, just try and go for a run to balance it out.

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