Travelling can get lonely for us Paddy’s sometimes. Emma Wright is back to give us a few tips on how to keep the holiday homesickness at bay.
When travelling abroad, it is always easy to spot your own kind. The Irish have their own unique style and despite being in an exotic, foreign land, they are guaranteed to stick together. Here’s how to spot an Irish wan from the rest (as if you needed help!):
When at the beach, you can expect to find two distinguishable groups of Irish; 1) a group of milk-white men or women, lying in the sun, drinking bottles of cheap beer and causing a scene with a football, and 2) a group of almost-hospitalised sunburnt men or women, lying in the sun, drinking cheap beer and causing a scene with a football. The shade of red skin is also a great indicator of what day of their holiday they are on. (Tip: Go for the lobster-red ones, they will be going home very soon).
An important element of a holiday is submerging yourself in the culture and sampling the alcoholic beverages and local ambience. Unless, you are the Irish of course, and you all run to the nearest Irish bar for a few bevvies. There is no greater craic than in an Irish pub with your fellow comrades, united against the scary devil that is the hot weather and sand. They will spend most of the day in the pub and it will always end in an eruption of ‘Galway Girl’, before stumbling back to the holiday apartment, vomiting on the streets, yourself and your new lobster-red friend you brought back (see point one).
The Irish can always be found in the local (and somewhat tacky) chipper, (not) tasting the local delicacies and washing it down with a can of coke. You will be sure to find them in here 2-3 times daily for the rest of their holiday (like clockwork). Once we find a place that we know we like, we make it our temporary local. And under no circumstances, will we be drinking any tea that isn’t our Barry’s or Lyons (usually found stuffed somewhere deep in the suitcase for protection). We like to stick to what we know and can become fiercely patriotic towards our own Irish products when faced with unfamiliar lands. We need stability wherever we go, don’t you know.
If the milk-white or tomato skin, inability to handle drink, and congregations around the cheap chippers wasn’t enough indication, you can always tell an Irish person from the way they dress. It’s usual to find an Irish man in a pair of black sunglasses, bucket hat and either a soccer jersey (nearly always a Liverpool or Man Utd one) or GAA jersey. During the hottest part of the day, said jerseys will be draped over pasty white shoulders or tucked into long, border shorts. For the ladies, you will always find them in a pair of short-shorts (usually denim) and a bikini top, strutting around with their hair up in a bun with a face full of make-up, that will be melting off in the sun (who knew sweat could be so sexy?).
So next time you are abroad and you are looking for some comfort from your fellow Irish natives, you should be able to spot them. And if you have no luck, go to the hospital emergency rooms. There is always one in there…
Emma Wright @EmmaWrightsBlog