College is a great time to learn about members of the opposite sex. Speaking from a female perspective, we ladies meet men from all walks of life. From the geek to the player, we cast our eyes upon them all and make our assumptions based on their behaviour. But we all hope that we will secretly be proved wrong (we don’t like to be right ALL the time).

1) When guys act confident and cocky, we think they are knobs. But they think they are being cool. What actually happens as a result is either two things:

a) the guy will be so annoying we despise them (even if they are REALLY hot) or

b) we find the confidence so attractive, that we end up fancying them (even if they are REALLY unattractive). Either way, we can spot a fake show of confidence like a dog spots a cat – a mile off. Just be yourselves!

2) Opposite to this then, when guys are shy, we think they are cute. But they think they are not cool. This results in a “wanting what you can’t have” scenario for the girl and she will be forced to express her interest in him. Then one of three things will happen:

1) the guy thinks he’s won the lottery and they get together;

2) he feels like she’s doing all the chasing and gets so overwhelmed, he backs off; or

3) the girl gets fed up at his lack of balls, that she backs off. And if the latter happens, we console ourselves with the fact that he’s probably into men and that’s why he didn’t hold our hand that time we sat together in class. Nice guys don’t finish last through any fault but their own. Why can’t it ever be simple?

3) Guys like to talk too. Yes, us ladies like to dissect everything but fella’s are also just as bad. “Why hasn’t she texted me back? Do you think she looked hot in those jeans? When she said she would be heading out, is that an invitation to turn up at the same pub and try it on?” The conversations heard in college (when you can’t help but eavesdrop) gives proof that men are just as needy and insecure as us, they just hide it better under their beards and strong-but-sexy aftershaves.

4) Men assume that being chivalrous is a sure-fire way to the dreaded friend zone with ‘FOOL’ written across their forehead. But believe it or not, holding a door open, allowing a woman to walk past you on the footpath (that you and your mates are probably hogging) or even asking what floor she is going to in the lift and pressing the buttons for her, will be ways to get her interest and her number. Give it a try; we will remember your manners and will want to get to know you because you would be different from all the other fella’s with their heads up their arses (and you might feel good for doing something nice for another human being, too).

5) Lastly, lads assume that when a girl laughs at their jokes, it automatically means she wants to sleep with him. But when a girl laughs at his jokes, she’s thinking ‘this guy is hilarious’ and will want to spend more time with him. No sex involved at all! Just to clear that up.

So there we have it – what women think of men is usually the complete opposite to what men actually think. And we ladies are going to be forever analysing men and their behaviours, trying to understand why they do what they do and if it has any meaning behind it. But as I understand it, since starting college, so will men.