“He’ll never remember my new second name,” says Cheryl Fernandez-Versini on friend and colleague Simon Cowell. “He just can’t be bothered. I told him just Cheryl will do.”

Formerly Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy), the singer married Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini this summer, which has caused many, including Cowell, to struggle with her new last name.

“I think she’s married someone with a surname you can’t pronounce so she will become Cheryl, like Madonna and Beyoncé,” joked Cowell. “It was the grand plan to become a one-name artist.”

Honestly, can anyone blame him? Not only is it tough to remember, it’s an absolute pain to repeatedly write it while constructing an article. Thank Christ for Copy&Paste.

Cowell and Fernandez-Versini will join Louis Walsh, Mel B and Dermot O’Leary in subjecting us to yet another torturous series of The X-Factor beginning Saturday August 30th. Oh, the Joy!