So your friend has a new fella

boyfriendSo, you’re back. Last year was a blast, this year’s going to be better. Freshers’ week always throws up surprises and there’s promotions on in every bar, on every corner. Accommodation’s sorted— bunking in with the girls from last year because you just know they’re as wild as you.

But wait, WTF! Sarah’s got a boyfriend. What’s up with that? “Not going out” she says.  “Want to get to sleep” she says.  Next she’ll be saying she wants to stay in and study. Well fudge that, you’re not going to let her spoil your fun. After all, you only experience college once.

So you go on the tear. And just like you knew it would be, Freshers’ opens with a bang. An epic, explosion of intoxicating awesomeness. It’s time for home. You have to walk because you lost your bag after you threw up in the toilets. It’s all good though, because what’s his face (the guy you met outside the kebab place) said he’ll take you home for free.

You lost your key too! Just as well Sarah forgot to lock the door (You’ll have to tell her how stupid that was later). She’s there when you get in, sitting at the table with your man. You’re so thirsty. You specifically said before you left, “Leave my vodka” You check the spot you had left it, and of course it’s gone. “I washed it” Sarah said— leaving the room. Just like that, and you’re fuming with her. She’s drifting away. You can feel it.

It’s three AM. What’s his face is snoring but you can’t sleep. Do they have any respect? The noises coming from Sarah’s room are nearly as bad as the bass drums that still bang in your ears. They’re keeping you awake, you’re sure of it. You’re sure because you only had four cans of red bull so it can’t be those.

You decide to pass out until morning. You get up, and Sarah’s already gone. You bet it’s because she’s ashamed of herself. She left a note saying she was gone to college, but you know better. Besides, it’s four in the evening; her classes are finished for the day. That girl has changed.

By Audrey Reidy