Regional Manager Thomas “Tommo” Monighan has informed his entire staff that he drank seven pints and two shots last night despite the fact that he had work at 1:00 pm today.
Keen to show his drinking prowess to his younger employees, Thomas continued to elaborate by breaking down the night by saying roughly what time he had each drink. According to his account, Thomas began at 7:00pm straight after work with “the lads”, beginning and ending the night with a shot of whiskey and steadily drinking a pint every half hour before getting a taxi home at 10:30pm.
Thomas was more than happy to make an official statement on the record.
“Yeah, it was a bit of a mad one to be honest.” Thomas was reported to say. “Me and Dermo were by far the heaviest drinkers that night. Dermo had an early start because he had gotten off work before me but I caught up to him. By the end of the night, I racked up two shots of Jameson, three pints of Heineken and four pints of Guinness.”
Thomas went on to elaborate that he’s “too old to be getting up to that sort of carry-on.” and “the lads just bring it out of me.”
Despite Thomas’ enthusiasm, his staff were reluctant to contribute to the conversation, being uncomfortable with the idea of telling their boss what they get up to on their nights out.
One source, who wished to remain anonymous, stated that they had a “heavy night” in town the same day as Tom. Unwilling to give full details, they were willing to put on the record that it began with a 70cl of Two Trees Vodka for pre-drinks, involved a dealer that was two hours late, and ended with our anonymous source going home without his left shoe.