By Sofia Chirico
The first few weeks of college can feel like an exciting yet daunting experience. When you are moving, trying to find your feet in a new setting, navigating new routines and new people, it is natural to feel anxious, lonely and a bit lost. Here are some tips and tricks on how to manage loneliness and anxiety during the first few weeks at university.
In a world of newness, it is really important that your space feels as homely as possible, allowing you to feel as safe and calm as possible. For this reason, it is a good idea to bring comfort items from home if you can. Whether that is your childhood plushie, your favourite mug, or a cozy blanket you have used since the dawn of time, familiar things really do make a difference when everything around you is completely new. On the bright side, a new room is a blank canvas: you can turn it into your safe place, somewhere to come home to after a busy day of lectures. Your space is your personal sanctuary, and it can influence your mood, sleeping patterns and wellbeing. Having a homey and comfortable room will not only make a difference in the long run but also keep you busy on the first few days of college. Buying room decor and arranging it is a great way to pass the time when you don’t really know anyone yet and are trying to adjust to a new life.
Whether home is a few hours away or in an entire different country, keeping in touch with your loved ones is a great source of comfort and can help you feel less alone during the first couple of weeks at university. Trying to schedule calls at the same time every day can help you build a sense of structure and routine, while also giving you a chance to have natural interactions with people that know you well and whom you are comfortable with. Familiarity will feel like a breath of fresh air, especially after a long day of trying to get out of your shell and socialising with new people. It is common to feel lonely, especially if you find yourself alone doing activities that used to be shared while at home, like eating or cooking. Mental health foundation The Jed says staying in touch with family at this time benefits both ends, as moving out and stepping into the young adult world is a big adjustment for both the student and their family. A way to fight the loneliness is arranging virtual dinners with your family and home friends, who might also be going through changes and adapting.
Starting university can come with a lot of pressure to socialise and find a perfect friend group from the start. However, realistically, socialising in a new setting can feel overwhelming. As cliché as it sounds, starting easy is the way to go. Try complimenting a classmate’s notebook or asking them a question on what the lecturer just said, it is a simple way to break the ice and help you start a conversation. You can also join a society on something you are passionate about. This way, you will already be surrounded by people with the same interests as yours and building a conversation, and potentially a future friendship, will become even easier. Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask first! Whether it is asking a classmate to grab coffee together or exchanging numbers or social media with someone. It might seem daunting at first but I promise you everybody is in the same boat, and they might be equally struggling to find the courage to ask you themselves.
Feelings like loneliness and novelty related emotions can be overwhelming and isolating, and you might feel like you are the only one experiencing them while everyone else is out there thriving. However, giving yourself compassion and reminding yourself that the majority of people in your situation are also experiencing the same feelings lifts a weight off your chest and eventually allows you to move forwards. Journaling or meditating are great ways to help you notice and accept your feelings and emotional patterns through college, both at the beginning and moving forward. The American Psychological Association states that mindfulness meditation enhances mental health and general psychological wellbeing because it positively changes brain structures that control attention and, most importantly, emotion regulation. It’s a two-step process: the attention part and the acceptance part. The former is about physical and mental awareness, aimed at noticing thoughts and sensations, while the latter focuses on accepting emotions with no judgement, aiming to let them go without reacting. You can find books, YouTube tutorials and even free apps that can guide you on how to start.
At the same time, your time in college is an opportunity to redefine the concept of “alone”. You don’t need a big friend group to start living your young-adult life, you are more than enough on your own, and doing things by yourself doesn’t mean you are failing—it means you are gaining independence and getting to know yourself better. Your time at university is a time of self-discovery, a lot of which happens through spending time alone. Whether it’s taking yourself out on a solo coffee or museum date, or a simple walk around campus, you’ll find that you’re capable of creating joy for yourself and don’t need to rely on others at all times. Of course balance is always ideal and creating bonds with others is an amazing part of the college experience, but it’s okay to also enjoy your own company and learn how to be happy on your own.
To sum up, going off to college can feel overwhelming at first. But adapting is a slow process and as such it needs time and trust, especially at first. Your college narrative doesn’t get written in the first few weeks, when you might feel lost and a bit blue. So it is alright to welcome these feelings, and remind yourself that, even if it might take time, it will get better and easier as time goes on. After all, no one’s meant to master it all in a week—that’s why you are given semesters and years to figure it out.
What also helps lonliness is an active social life! This is always easier with money in the bank. Read below for some budget advice from Oxygen!
Get an ISIC Card and Bunq Bank Account
The ISIC (International Student Identity Card) and Bunq have created the perfect partnership for students. Everyone who signs up for the Bunq app via ISIC gets a card for free. The ISIC card is the only internationally accepted student identity card which provides student status verification, thousands of discounts worldwide and access to the global student community.
Bunq pro accounts gives you smarter banking with instant account setup, easy budgeting tools, and full control of your money 24/7. Spend abroad without hidden fees. For more information visit Bunq.
Sign up here today.