Oh hey there, Johnny. What’s the craic? I heard you got dropped from your local GAA team, and you’ve replaced training with a much more rewarding national pass time – sexting. Well, good on ya! Here at oxygen.ie we’re all very sex positive. We’re all for expressing your sexual desires and.. urges… but, oh, I see you’re about to send another penis picture to Mary?! Right. Okay. Well, before you hit send, let us stop you for a second. There are a few dick pic related issues we need to clear up, fella.
1) Did Mary ask to see this picture of Johnny Junior Genitalia?
2) Did you ask Mary if she would be interested in a sneak peak of little Johnny?
3) Did she say “Yes”?
If you answered YES to any of the above, go right ahead, hit send and hope for an eggplant emoji in return!
However, if the answer is NO, please, fill us in on why you think it is okay to send an unwanted dick pic to poor Mary?
That’s right, if the person didn’t ask for it, or say yes, it’s probably unwanted. Can you believe that?!
No? Let us break it down for you.
When you send an UNWANTED dick pic, what you are saying is “I’m a man. A man with a penis, look! I feel entitled to your response. I expect you to respond positively to my penis. Look at it! Tell me it’s nice. You must massage my ego and fill all of my sexual desires”.
Do you see what you’re doing now, Johnny? You’re forcing poor Mary into a sexual situation that she didn’t give consent to, you silly goose.
You’re leaving Mary with no choice. She has to address the elephant/penis in the room, and you’re OBVIOUSLY expecting her to address it with compliments, encouragements, or nude photos in return.
But the thing is, Mary is actually in Starbucks ordering her daily flat white. Despite whatever warped vision you have in your head, Mary has no intention of replying “Wow! When are where?!”.
Mary can’t get past 11am without that caffeine hit, she doesn’t want to lose her place in the queue, and she is not your sexual servant who is always ready to accept your invitation to sex. She is probably going to show your picture to the barista, who will say “ugh, men!”, with an eye roll.
Because that’s what we do. We roll our eyes, shrug our shoulders, and maybe block your numbers. We don’t tell you that we feel uncomfortable, harassed, assaulted – we shouldn’t have to!
And in some cases, we aren’t sure how we feel, or how we are supposed to feel. And that’s probably because this form of harassment has become so rampant that people are now desensitized to it.
Yes, that’s what it is. It’s harassment.
If you were walking down the street right now, and you saw Mary looking like an absolute ride, would you approach her and whip out your bits?
No. Mary probably isn’t into being unsuspectingly flashed while going about her day. So, why would you send that picture without her consent?
You might think it’s okay because it’s not your physical body doing the flashing, it’s a lot more private and acceptable when it’s done through a screen … But that’s where you’re wrong, Johnny.
It’s NOT acceptable. And honestly, it’s not attractive either. Here’s what is:
Communicating your desires.
Not acting grossly entitled.
Thinking before clicking.
Asking for consent.