Adored United States President Donald Trump has stated that the latest of a string of US mass shootings is “not a gun problem” just hours after 26 people were fatally shot at a church in Texas.

Despite the assailant having multiple armed weapons in his nearby vehicle, Tangerine Tornado Trump insisted that the shooting which occurred at a Baptist church in a small San Antonio suburb was due to a “mental problem” and “not a gun situation.”

Rather than directly address the correlation between the number of mass shootings and the relaxed gun control procedures in the US, Trump said that they would respond with the ultra-effective solution of “pulling together, joining hands and locking arms”.

There have now been 532 recorded deaths this year that have resulted from mass shootings, which equals to one person for every four tweets the glorious leader has sent this year.

Here’s a random picture of the president holding a large rifle presented without context or any reason whatsoever.


An anonymous spokesperson for the White House spoke to about why Trump isn’t planning on bringing in stricter gun control laws anytime soon.

“The President is a smart guy, everybody knows that,” a spokesperson said.

“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Everybody knows that. President Trump did try to make certain people illegal before but we couldn’t make it work, but we can definitely say we’ve looked for a solution.”

The right for Americans to bear arms comes from the historic Bill of Rights, which states in its second amendment that “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”

Its one of many constitutional mantras that the US have lived by throughout its history. Other notable parts of American life that have existed in the US Constitution include the inability for women to vote, the prohibition of the sale of alcohol and slavery.

President Trump was unavailable for comment due to golfing commitments in Japan, probably.