A follower of the Manchester United faith was murdered for doing a doodle of the Liverpool prophet Stevie G this morning.
The drawing depicted the Scouse deity wiping his arse with the Liverpool crest having decided to leave his boyhood club after over two decades of service.
Gerrard has released a statement saying that, despite his opposition and hatred to the Manchester United faith, he doesn’t want his devoted followers to commit any violence in his name.
The attack took place in the Liverpool area, with the perpatrator grabbing the offending picture and killing the artist with a karate kick, in reference to the most famed act of United’s god, King Eric. One onlooker said of the attack “Eee e was propa snarlinnn ‘im tho e was pyarrr fumin”.
The Scouse faith believes that 72 Premier League titles are awaiting them in heaven when they do pass on and see United followers as infidels that have systematically torn their religion apart. Having seen their faith enjoy a brief but ultimately failed revival last year, Scousers have become increasingly restless and irritable at the lack of success they have endured.
The prophet Gerrard is due to reincarnate himself in the LA Galaxy shortly, having performed miracles in both Istanbul and Cardiff in the last ten years to the adoration of his Scouse disciples.
We can’t post the picture here in respect of the prophet Gerrard, however, here’s a cartoon of the Muslim prophet Mohammed.
