The world will have to put the booty shaking to a hold as, Miley ‘Do as Sinead O’Connor says’ Cyrus, has contracted a severe case of haemorrhoids. The controversial ex-Disney star has been suffering from the Johnny Giles after twerking on a slab of cold meat taken straight from the fridge.
Severity
The star has contracted the severest form of the inconvenient disease and it has put an end to her eyebrow raising antics. Sledgehammers across the world are now able to slam in peace without the teen idol. A team of proctologists said that the piles are so severe that Robin Thicke’s smug aura is no longer to be found in the zeitgeists black hole.
Tragic
Fans from around the globe are looking at the once formidable posterior in despair, as it no longer grinds the nation’s dance floors without fear of… eh… leakage. Fans have been Tweeting in their reaction to the news under the #BumdayBloodyBumday
Sinead O’Connor
Sinead O’Connor has ran to console the Disney sensation only hours after writing an open letter to the young starlet condemning her twerking antics. Cyrus responded to the open letter with distraught as she was a bit embarrassed for O’Connor who still writes letters rather than Tweeting, Facebooking, Instagraming or Snapchatting her feelings.
The HSE
The Irish Health Service has made a public awareness campaign on the danger of twerking on cold objects. Advertisements about the risk involving cold areas and twerking will air during tonight’s episode of Fair City. They are pleading with the public to think long and hard before twerking, and for twerkers to ask themselves if “is a safe place to let go”.
Oxygen.ie will keep you updated on this current event.