Irish people are shocked and outraged after Saturday Nights Eurovision, having seen Irish representative Ryan O Shaughnessy finish 16th out of 26 contestants, when he clearly should have come first after having two men dance romantically with each other during the performance.

“Sure, what else can we do?” said a member of the public “We had two lads dancing with each other on stage like? How could we not win with that? Europe is homophobic I reckon”.

That was the consensus of many we interviewed on the streets of Dublin in the aftermath of the greatest robbery to affect Ireland since Thierry Henry’s handball in 2009.

“It’s a disgrace” said another person we asked “How did we not win when we had 2 gay guys strutting their stuff around a seat while another fella sings softly beside them? I was sure we were on to a winner there”.

Multiple phone calls were made to An Garda Siochana reporting a robbery on an international scale on Saturday night after it was found that Israel won the singing competition with a large woman clucking like a chicken, all the while having no gay people or gay themes in her performance. Many Irish people believed the Eurovision was fixed.

Some voiced their opinion on social media. One person tweeted “OMG the Eurovision is fixed!!! Even though we finished behind 15 other countries and were over 400 points behind the winner, we should have won”

Another tweeted “Even though we blatantly played the gay card with our song this year, we should have won. What else can we shamelessly use to get votes next year?”

Following the theme of using referendum topics as inspiration for a singing competition entry, rumours of an abortion themed song next year have been circling, but quickly shut down by the Irish Eurovision committee because they said that would be “a severe buzzkill” at next years competition.

John McAuliffe