By Sarah Murnane

Tip 1: Age appropriate. 

In this day and age, the years of blindly kissing people are long gone. Frankly, good riddance! At the age of twenty-two, the idea of going near someone who is eighteen or even nineteen sends a shiver down my spine. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the basic appeal that this may have. You want to feel cool again, the too tight fitting jeans suddenly become endearing, and the prospect of this unlikely romance is exciting. But all it takes is one “I think I want to go to Paris for my Erasmus…” for the dream to die. Take some advice, stay in age appropriate boundaries while pulling this festival season. Heck, you can even use your ISIC card to check! How useful!

Tip 2: Do not be creepy. 

There is the obvious way of not being creepy. Do not stalk people, or touch them inappropriately and if someone gives you a hard “no I would not have sex with you if you were the last person on earth”, leave them alone. However, if you have covered all those basics and are generally a nice normal person, trying to get someone to pay attention to you can feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Guess what? It is! It is an unfortunate truth of man that approaching anyone with the express intention of flirting is going to make you feel like you’ve never spoken to a human in your life. But that is part of the fun! In the age of the dating app, I believe that we all need more stories of people trying to flirt with us in public. You are doing us a public service of giving the next generation the story their friends will laugh about for the next ten years. 

Tip 3: Someone You Know?

If all else fails, its the last day of the festival and all your friends have coupled up, this is the only time I’ll condone getting with someone you know. This is comparably easier than someone you don’t know as you have a relationship with this person, you may even already find them attractive. But consider this a disclaimer: I am not responsible for the messy friendship, situationship, frien-uationship, casual hookup, friends-with-benefits ordeal that emerges afterwards. You have been warned, tread cautiously in this area. Lest you end up in a worse situation than just being without anyone to kiss at a festival. 

Tip 4: Give Up. 

Who are we all kidding? Everyone knows how these things go. We have all watched the friend who goes on a night out and ends up finding someone to snog. Here is the secret: getting so black out drunk that anyone will do, usually this means the person closest and willing. Yes, occasionally you will get lucky and this individual you latch onto will be extremely attractive. Normally, you’ll wonder what drugs you were taking that you thought this was a good idea. When in doubt, go with your gut. If you don’t meet anyone maybe that is for the best. 

Tip 5: Be safe. 

If it does come down to the wire and you are having sex with someone at a festival, we must all remember the three C’s: Consent, Condoms and Kindness. I do not care how drunk you are, high you happen to be, or how much it would ‘kill the vibe’, just ask the other person verbatim:

 “Would you like to have sex with me?”

At some point, during the sex, follow this up with a: 

“Would you like to keep going?”

You really cannot go wrong after this, it saves everyone a lot of heartbreak and pain in the aftermath and makes the whole experience better for everyone. This goes for both guys, gals and everyone in between or beyond. Alongside this, I only use condoms as an example, but any kind of protection will do especially with a stranger. Just don’t use a sandwich bag, that’s an urban myth. Finally, be kind to each other. Sex is lots of fun, people do silly weird things while having sex, so enjoy it and employ some kindness to your fellow man during the act. 

For more info on the ISIC card click here!

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