Looking for film suggestions? Hate yourself and want to be subjected to visual torture? Well then, look no further than Oxygen.ie’s Top Ten Worst Films of 2015, a clump of the year’s biggest and best cinematic bowel movements.
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Terminator Genisys
From its annoying title to its spoilerific trailer, Terminator Genisys had already pissed audiences off before they even entered the cinema. The film tried to reboot its old machines but just didn’t have the tools to do it. Terminator has gone the way of Die Hard, with each instalment getting worse and worse.
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Taken 3
Settling not just to rip of the other Taken films, but The Fugitive as well, Taken 3 is an action film in which the action is so incomprehensible that the whole thing becomes a blur. Or, more accurately, a sludge. An insult of a movie.
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The Cobbler
The overriding feeling while watching The Cobbler is, ‘How???’
You wonder how has Thomas McCarthy, the director behind the wonderful The Station Agent and the upcoming Spotlight, made such a dud, such an unfunny, offensive, hateable, and hateful film? Why is this film so terrible? And they you realise the answer is right in front of you: Adam Sandler.
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Fantastic Four
If ever a film were to act as a living testament to a studio and director not getting on, it would be Fantastic Four. A mess from start to finish, with the few flashes of genius being quickly stifled, it commits the one unforgivable sin for all superhero film: it’s boring.
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Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
With a title as bad as Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, you could forgive the film being as terrible as it so clearly is. What’s unforgivable, however, is the fact it takes Tye Sheridan, one of the best young actors working today, and tars him with the same brush. If Mud and Joe are career highs for Sheridan, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is lowest of the low.
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Vacation
The 2015 award for most unoriginal reboot goes to… Vacation! When the funniest joke in the film is just how shameless this stolen plot is, you know you have problems. At one point, it looks like the family are about to fall over the edge of a waterfall, and the audience response is ‘Sure, why not?’
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Entourage
How do you make a film version of a TV show? Do you try new things, new situations? Or, do you do what Entourage does, and elongate an episode out until it’s so paper thin you need to patch up all the holes with fast cars and celebrity cameos? The film is so bad that it turns lifelong fans against the TV series. It’s the cinematic equivalent to being cheated on: you can forgive but never forget the horrible things the Entourage movie has done.
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Hot Pursuit
In a year in which women have been striving to achieve bigger and better things, it’s always good to see Hollywood undercutting that progress with films like Hot Pursuit.
Unfunny, longer than its short runtime suggests, Hot Pursuit proves women can be sexist towards their own gender too. Hopefully this will realign Witherspoon’s passion for creating good female films, like Wild and Gone Girl. She put her hand in the fire, and has been burnt accordingly.
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11 Minutes
A short film crudely masquerading as a feature, 11 Minutes has so few ideas it must resort to art-house crap that it doesn’t fully understand. Incomprehensible and charmless, never has the word nonsense been so applicable.
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50 Shades of Grey
Saying 50 Shades the film is an improvement on the book is like saying extreme constipation is an improvement on diarrhoea. It’s horrible, consumerist crap, with bad actors acting badly. For a film supposedly about sexual adventurousness, the sexiest things in it are the cars and planes. Enraging and interminable, at least one positive about the book is that it can also act as toilet paper.
Rían Smith
Is your favourite film listed as one of Rían’s choices for the worst films of 2015? We’re sure he’d love to hear all about it on Twitter.