Five Guys is coming to Ireland. If you don’t understand the magnitude of that sentence then you just don’t know what a burger is.

Despite being a relatively young franchise in the US, beginning in 1986, it’s locations are consistently packed with queues going beyond it’s doors all year round.

Its customer service has been ranked at the top of numerous polls and has ‘secret shoppers’ visit its premises twice a week to maintain it’s gloriously high standards.

No frozen food, with a simple but pleasing layout of red a white decor and a single counter circulated by the seating.

The company has undergone exponential growth that culminated in a London restaurant opening last year.

To give you an idea of the food you get in there…Imagine a burger prepared for you exactly the way you see it in the ad. Except of course there’s no ad to compare it to as the company prides itself on its product rather than it’s commercial reach.

Now imagine putting that daintily constructed burger to your mouth and letting the meaty aroma seep into your nostrils and grace your tongue. The peanut oil it’s cooked in nullifies that pesky threat of grease dripping onto the nice clothes you’ve worn for the experience, and as your teeth navigate through the perfectly toasted fresh bun and into that firm, delicious sauce-patted patty, you now know what it’s like to actually shift God.

There are only two types of people that think Five Guys is anything other than disturbingly good. They are idiots and vegans (idiots).

When Five Guys comes to Ireland, every man woman and child of the country should take work off for the day and go there to eat one of those burgers. You owe it to your basest urges.

We would like to point out that we have not been commissioned by Five Guys to write a glowing article of their product as a fixed review. They’re the tits, these burgers. The tits.