Nine Similarities between the Dáil and College

You pick and choose what debates/lectures you go to:
Much like college you have no obligation to go to any lectures you have coming up despite the fact you’re in college exclusively to go to them and learn stuff. Politicians seem to have this same student mentality although I don’t know if it’s because of a hangover? Probably just laziness.

Empty Dail
TD’s pictured here sitting toward the back of a poorly attended Dáil hoping the Ceann Comhairle won’t ask them to actually speak.

We both care deeply about the resident bar:
To be fair to them I think colleges around the country would fill out a normally empty lecture hall if opening times were due to be changed. Nobody wants that, God forbid the hours are changed in the bar.

Drinking alone at a bar
The resident’s bar often has a higher attendance rate than the Dáil itself.

Some of us are eligible for grants, some of us are not:
Word on the street is that Katherine Zappone is due to get €80,000 over the next five years because she has to travel more than 25km to get to the Dáil, It’s ok Zappone, I too sympathise with the commuting struggle, any chance we can go halves.

You aim to dress to impress, but some of us, well, it just doesn’t really happen:
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care about how anybody dresses to be honest, I’m merely talking about similarities here. You know when you walk into a lecture hall full of other people wearing pretty dapper outfits and you’re there in your trackies and hoody that you slept in last night on your friend’s couch cause you had a spontaneous sesh at the student union bar? I’m pretty sure that carry on goes on in the Dáil too.

Ming Flanagan
Ming Flanagan has been lobbying for ‘dress-down Fridays’ to be made a daily occurrence.

We all aim to go in and change the world, but by the end you’re just looking for a 40%:
Students and politicians have this in common. You start college aiming to come out with a first, a glowing résumé of all your achievements and the knowledge that you changed something that needed changing. But by summer of first year all you want is a 40% and for your lecturer not to occasionally corner you and, getting uncomfortably close to your face, rant about how you’re undermining their chosen profession . I feel like I can relate to TD’s who promised to change the world, I did too. It just never ends up materialising.

Parties are kind of like Clubs and Socs:
Students get together to form these groups because they have a common interest, who doesn’t want to be a part of the Harry Potter Soc? Politicians are like this too, except their’s are a little bit more serious, a little bit cliquier and presumably involve less novelty t-shirts. Plus they’re probably not allowed join more than one.

Healy Rae
When not denying climate change, Danny Healy-Rae likes to have a pint and contemplate the folly of his own existence.

We both got Presidents:
College has a President and the state has a President, the similarities are uncanny. Both look good for pictures and for announcements and things but do they really do anything? I’m sure they do loads but they always seem a little too happy and too carefree.. I want this job.

We both have mature students:
We all have them in college; they’re the ones you just can’t live without. They always seem to work that little bit harder than the younger students and serve as a constant reminder of what you really should be doing. The Dáil is like this too except… Except it’s full of mature students… There’s not one young voice in sight, maybe the Dáil and college are not alike in this way?

There’s always that one person who seems to drunk tweet:
You’re scrolling through Twitter in the morning when you wake up and you see this odd, out of character Tweet from somebody in your year. Utter nonsense? Spelling mistakes? Addition of ‘x’s? They must’ve been drunk. The same goes for politicians, look at some of their Tweets and you’ll think the exact same.

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Cathal McCahey

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