Matthew Smith, a pro-incest campaigner from Cumbria, has been jailed for nine months for downloading pornographic images of Bart Simpson and other characters from The Simpsons – he downloaded images of Bart having sex with Lisa, Marge and Mrs Krabappel. Ewww!

Smith said he wanted to use the pictures in a book he’s writing on why sex between family members – something he called a “wonderful, expressive thing” – should be made legal. Something we call “Creepy”.

Smith said he also planned to campaign for the age of consent to be lowered to 12, before insisting he had no interest in pre-pubescent children, adding: “I hate them. I’d machine gun them all.” Eh, you’re not helping your case there Matthew.

It took a jury at Carlisle Crown Court 40 minutes to unanimously find him guilty of nine counts of possessing prohibited images. Actually it took them 30 seconds, they used the other 39 and a half minutes to watch an episode of Mad Men…