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Want to be in the dictionary when people look up basic bitch? Of course you do! Here are tips on how to live a fabulous basic life.
1. Eat avocados
Avos have a special power to make you fabulous. You must make sure you Instagram your smashed avocado on toast with poached egg, it is a rite of passage.
2. Practice your resting bitch face
For those photos at your friend’s birthday, you can’t look like you are having a good time. Don’t show your teeth and look like you’d rather be getting a spicebag than be partying in Diceys.
3. Consume pumpkin spice lattes everyday in the colder months
This is a big one. This is the drink every basic loves and adores. Make sure you snap your misspelled name on your cup. For me, I’ve got Eva, Efa and Aofa…
4. There’s no way like Rosé
A night in by yourself is not complete without a bottle of Rosé. Make sure to have a bubble bath with scented candles and a glass of Rosé on hand.
5. Watch the whole series of Gossip Girl, at least twice
No show will ever live up to Gossip Girl. On every basic’s mind: Chuck and Blair are goals, Serena is a hoe but dresses well, I hate Dan. We need this show back now!
6. Substitute normal milk for almond milk
Because dairy milk is bad for your skin, duh..
7. Half of your wardrobe must be from Penneys
The amount of clothes you can get for 50 euro is shocking. Stock up on your winter clothes now.
8. Order Dominos when you are hungover
You must order a large pizza all for yourself. Nom. Pineapple on pizza is every basic’s go-to. It does belong on pizza shut up.
9. Raid Victoria’s Secret every time there is a sale on
You need to get all those amazing deals! Who knows who will see you in them? On the off chance you actually get the ride. You got to have the sexy underwear to wow.
10. Become a follower of Oprah
You must question ‘what would Oprah do?’ at least 5 times a day. She is a guiding light and a modern day Jesus.
By Aoife Crilly
