The relationship between the Conservatories and their new bosom buddies, the Democratic Unionist Party, continues to blossom as is evident by their recent twitter conversation.

Their online chat was riddled with bomb puns as they continued to show disregard for the normal, everyday person.

A member of the Conservative Party’s social media team went on record to say, “If we can’t laugh about the past, what can we laugh at? Both parties have achieved so much so we’re in a position to mock”

When asked about the offence that was caused, the spokesperson went on to say, “…but we used a crying laughing face emoji! One can say anything they want, once it’s followed by a crying laughing face emoji…it nullifies the offence”

Both Party’s had an official banquet recently, where the main course was slow roasted orphan children. When questioned on this, the Tory spokesperson retorted with “Hey, we’re solving one crisis at a time!” and continued to laugh while shedding tears.

Their online discussion mentioned the lack of coal to keep the bonfires burning, in reference to the closure of British coalmines by the Conservative Party in the 1980’s. When pushed on the subject, the Tory Spokesperson snapped and stated, “Crikey! You people are never happy! Yes, we closed coalmines but to balance that out we recently closed fire stations! Now your fires can burn longer! What do you want? Fires or no fires?”

The DUP were asked to comment but they simply replied with “No”

Al McElroy