smn 
There will come a time when it will be far easier to list the once-beloved children’s television personalities who haven’t seen their reputations disintegrate in a whirlwind of salacious accusations rather than those who have. Now, with the revelation that a sex-tape featuring canal-boat dwelling duo Rosie & Jim has surfaced, two more stars have fallen and we have surely passed that tipping point.
The sordid video featuring the crocheted couple, who it can be argued single-handedly introduced dreadlock fashion to the English canal network, has rapidly gained international attention since being posted on a well known pornographic website last week. It has since been universally declared as “perhaps the most disgusting video available on the internet, up to and including that footage of those two girls defecating in a mug and Rebecca Black’s Friday.”
This is not the first time the semi-nomadic duo have courted controversy since their eponymously titled show was pulled from the airwaves in 2000. Despite their massive popularity during the 90s, both with children and adults whose mental faculties had been temporarily reduced to an approximately childlike level from the ingestion of narcotics, they were never able to turn this popularity into financial success. Indeed, their floundering finances were exemplified by the fact that, in the show’s last season, they were still sharing their houseboat with the same man who was presumably only living on the water to comply with various restraining orders which prevented him from being within a certain distance of any public area populated by children.
Rosie & Jim’s first brush with ignominy came in the mid-2000s when, after Jim had decided to try pursue a solo career presenting a spin-off show titled simply, ‘Jim’ which was only ever aired in Korea, Rosie was arrested on suspicion of owning and running an exotic animal fighting ring. However, the charges were later dropped after she was able to prove that the majority of the animals involved weren’t that exotic and that most of the matches tended to be incredibly one-sided blood-baths thus failing to technically qualify as ‘fights’. Even though the case came to nothing, their reputation, like the remaining animals seized from Rosie’s care, never fully recovered.
This video however will surely prove to be the final nail in the coffin of their public life. Provided below are the opening 18 seconds of the video, what transpires thereafter is simply too deplorable to be considered fit for public consumption. Given that most of the acts of sexual deviancy showcased in the video violate myriad national laws, it is believed that the pair of sentient woollen perverts must have sailed their barge to international waters to conduct some of the more grotesque acts of the film; specifically, the ‘tromboning’; the ‘caravanning’; the ‘inverted bathhouse blow-out’; the ‘Shania Twain hand-haggle’ and all of the scenes involving that horse.
It is as yet unclear whether the video was leaked by a third party or if it was uploaded by the couple themselves in a mis-guided attempt to garner attention, or perhaps even to launch a career in the adult entertainment industry. Lord knows, with their reputations being so closely tied to ‘canal’s there is a wealth of bottom-shelf punning titles to be mined therein should they wish.
Given that the public reaction, based on the comments posted on the video has been near unanimously negative, we can only hope that this was a grim once-off that shan’t be repeated.
