At some point throughout their working careers, 96% of office workers will end up working within the same business park as a Brothel. There is a 98% chance the previous statistic was entirely made up, however, occasionally a Brothel will open up next to your office and it is the best thing that will ever happen to you, for several reasons…

1. Hours of Entertainment


There’s nothing more entertaining than peering out the office window when you hear a punter come a knocking on the brothel door next door and you stand there judging them silently as you sip away at your morning coffee.

2. Befriending Brassers


You head out for your post-lunchtime cigarette and also out there is one of the ladies from the fine establishment next to you. You start out making small-talk about the weather, but by the end of the week the two of you are having in depth debates over the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

3. Sex Tips


Now that you’ve made friends, getting some advice on how to spice things up in the bedroom is a no-brainer. These ladies are professionals after all and will happily help out a friend.

4. Endless Supply of Condoms


There will come a day that the sun is blistering and nothing would please the business park more than an impromptu inter-office water balloon fight. Only snag in the plan is the severe lack of water balloons. Never fear – the girls have hundreds of Johnnies at hand (they get them dirt cheap as they’re buying in bulk) and while it might take a bit more force to get them to burst, they’ll still do the trick in a water fight.

5. Mates Rates


Some afternoon when the stress of the office is a little too much, you’ll have a powerpoint presentation to prepare and won’t  be able concentrate in the slightest – all you’ll want is a little stress relief. Never fear, the gals next door will be happy to help, at a discount, obviously, because you’re friends now. Happy Days!