After a disappointing Summer thus far, Irish weather has started to pick up, almost reaching the dizzying heights of relatively mediocre sunshine and temperatures managing to stay in double figures for up to a couple of hours at a time.

Initial torrential rain in June led much of the nation to believe that Summer was over and we should all just forget about wearing shorts at all.

However, a recent bout of what could only be described as “fierce mildness” had resulted in a rise in spirits and even skiving off to beer gardens in the afternoons.

Local weatherman are not surprised with the recent sunshine, having declared that the nation could expect some “grand drying over the next couple of days. Or at least for a few hours.”

Delores, a 53 year old housewife, told The Spanner that she’s delighted with the improvement in weather, and that she’s gotten three washes done and dried in three days.

“It’s a relief. The washing was building up. And I’m heading off to Lanzarote in August, I needed to get a good wash done.

“I’ve been out the back garden sunning myself, trying to build up a bit of a tan before I head off. I don’t want to be walking around the beach like a milk bottle. Sure you can always spot the Irish a mile off.”

Delores continued, telling us how much she was looking forward to the holiday, but has hesitations about foreign food, as “you can never get decent sausages when you’re abroad” and that she’ll “probably bring a few of my own teabags with me. Can’t trust that foreign tea. It’s not even tea sure. It’s brown water.”

We wish Delores all the best and would request that she bring us back a bottle of booze and rave for hours about how cheap everything is over there.

Mark Walsh
www.walsho.net