The death has occurred of Jason ‘Scummy’ Bates, late of Ballylynch, Carrick-on-Suir and Portlaw. June 2nd, 2011 (Tragically). Aged 23 and affectionately known as ‘Scummy’ he is survived by his son and step daughters, five brothers and three sisters, four half brothers and three half sisters, brothers-in-common law, sisters-in-common law, nieces, nephews, relatives and also a girlfriend who is now in great need of comforting.

Reposing at his mother’s residence, removal is this (Saturday) evening at 7.30 o'clock to St. Patrick’s Church, Portlaw. Requiem Mass tomorrow (Sunday) where it is expected the celebrant in his eulogy will tell the congregation about Scummy’s hobbies which were; bareback horse riding, graffiti, knacker drinking, badger baiting, ferreting and mini-motorbikes.

Born the fourth child to a family of nine, Scummy was a devoted animal lover; he was an owner and breeder of two pit bulls (Tyson & Rooney), a piebald horse, a greyhound and two ferrets. However, his main passion was for his mini motorbike - neighbours will miss the roar and occasional backfire from his 38cc engine as it raced around the housing estates of Ballylynch up to his favourite abode, the Esso car park at the top of Ballylynch estate where he would hang out with his mates. Ballylynch resident and local town councillor, Mr. Richie O Neill, stated that "Scummy was a popular lad among his friends and although he is now gone, his death has created a profound peace among the community of Ballylynch”.

Scummy met his demise when his ferret attacked him. Although rare, fatal attacks by ferrets are not unknown throughout Northern Europe. It is believed that the ferret mistakenly thought Scummy’s scrotum was a rabbit’s head, Scummy profusely bled to death.

During his short life, Scummy excelled at mediocrity; he graduated from Fás in 2004 with a ‘Certificate in Basic Skills’. This was achieved by attendance on a six week course. While he achieved attendance most days, he found it challenging to gain any ‘work experience’ associated with the termination of the course or subsequent gainful employment.

When his family were asked what they remembered most about Scummy, they fondly recalled how “he could never piss straight into the toilet bowl. He also loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span as he was recently diagnosed with ADHD” (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).

Scummy will be buried in his favourite attire – a grey tracksuit accompanied by a small stash of hash and a can of ‘Dutch Gold’ lager. As a mark of respect, it is hoped that all tracksuit type clothing will be worn by mourners.

His family announced that a barbecue will be held after the burial, all are invited but please bring your own cider or beer.

No flowers by request please, but donations if desired may be sent to Scummy’s family No: 794, Rainbow Avenue, Ballylynch, Carrick on Suir.

Carrick on Suir