The football manager merry-go-round has been in full swing for the past week, with surprise departures springing up across the English divisions.

Just days ago, Birmingham City received a resignation from Alex McLeish via email – a new low in rudeness from overpaid dickheads. It’s expected that by next season it will be commonplace for managers and players to declare their intention to leave via Facebook wall posts or even Tweets.
Alex stated his reason for leaving as wanting stick to his principles of “being a dour ginger arsehole that gets his team relegated and leaves them in the shitter”

Aston Villa, Birmingham’s bitter rivals, are now linked with McLeish, and the Scot is yet to deny the rumours, admitting that there was a good chance he’d go there, “because it’d be by far the cuntiest thing to do”

There are also vacant positions at Chelsea and Cardiff. Chelsea have been heavily linked with Guus Hiddink, but there are doubts over this appointment after rumours that Roman Abramovich is considering appointing his pet dog to the highly-coveted role.

Meanwhile, renowned moron Alan Shearer has somehow become favourite for the Cardiff job. After his disastrous spell in charge of Newcastle, and evident stupidity, it’s thought that the club’s owners are simply sick and tired of running the club and wish to run it into the ground.

A survey conducted across the entire world revealed that everyone is sick of all the manager bullshit and just wishes that clubs would hurry up and sort it out. To solve the situation it has been decided that a raffle will take place to assign the unemployed managers to the vacant manager positions. The raffle will take place this Saturday and the FA would like to know if anyone has a lend of a hat for it.

Mark Walsh
www.walsho.net