Haters gon' hate

The UN security council has reacted to the conflict in Libya by issuing a strongly worded declaration calling for action over the mad dictator’s continuing efforts to exterminate his own people.

Gaddafi is fighting rebels in the North African state who are seeking to topple him after 42 years in power.

Resolution 58008 states: “The security council of the United Nations resolves that somebody should really do something about this Gaddafi guy. Seriously. Cut it out man. Mass murder of your own population to hold on to power is so not cool.”

United States President Barack Obama said that his country view the situation as “very serious, almost serious enough to do something about it in fact.”

The Rebels have called for military intervention to protect them from Gaddafi airstrikes, but this has been opposed by various members of the security council.

Leaked debates from the council showed that America felt it had “already invaded enough muslim countries this century”, while Russia and China were of the opinion that Gaddafi was “gas craic in the pub,” and “always paid his arms bills on time.”

Gaddafi himself is remaining defiant, declaring that “The people love me, even the ones who are trying to kill me. They’re just confused.

“It’s not easy owning an entire country and telling 6.4 million people what to do let me tell you. I don’t even want to do it really. But that’s the kind of guy I am.

“And now I’m going to have to bomb and kill half of them for their own good, and who’s left to clean up the rubble and the blood? Muggins here, that’s who.”