UCD student Eoin Brady spills the beans on Ireland's largest university...

What's the local area like?

Staring in the window of Clery’s. Sitting on the top of double-decker buses. Buying coffees that aren’t available down the country yet, like lattés. You could have all this, every single day. Such is the joy and fulfilment that awaits those who come to college in Dublin.

And if you want to go to college in Dublin, there’s pretty much only one way to do it: going to UCD, obviously. I mean, sure, there’s DCU up in Ballymun or somesuch place, and DIT, which has little bits of itself scattered randomly around the city, but aside from that there aren’t any educational institutions of note in Dublin. Certainly no grand, aristocratic, 16th century ones, anyway.

What's the story with accommodation? How expensive is it?

Accommodation around UCD is quite expensive. The expensiveness of college accommodation in Dublin is the reason that all the other colleges’ guides are going to have smug little paragraphs here about how affordable accommodation is around their colleges.

It has got cheaper in the last two years – house prices have fallen 35% from peak in Dublin, and rents reflect that. You should be able to find places for €400 a month.

A popular option is living on campus on first year. This will give you a wonderful opportunity to develop a resistance to hypothermia and cholera that will no doubt aid you greatly in your future career in the SAS. You’ll also make friends with fun, interesting people from all over the world. Even Monaghan, if you’re lucky.

What's the cost of living like?

Most costs are the same as everywhere else in Ireland. Among other things, you’ll have to pay for electricity, gas, an internet connection and a bin collection. Being a fun-loving devil-may-care student, you aren’t going to get a TV licence. This will lead to you feeling a sinking sense of dread every single time your doorbell rings for the next year.

You’ll also need to buy food. Certain supermarkets deliver online shopping, which is convenient. This is much more sensible than doing your regular shopping in the Centras and Spars that surround UCD, because if you plan your culinary ventures properly, you’re less likely to end up fat and poor.

Is part-time work easy to come by?

It’s the same as anywhere, really. If you want to get work, you’ll probably find it eventually. Hundreds of thousands of people have already managed to find work in Dublin, so there has to be another few jobs floating around, I’d imagine.

What are campus facilities like?

Computers

There are thousands of computers around the campus. Indeed, according to a computer availability display in the IT building, there are hundreds of computers off campus in strange little mini-campuses (campi? I’m classically educated, me) that no-one seems to know the location of. Computers (the findable ones, anyway) get terribly busy around exam time. Get to the library early, find one of those elusive hidden computer rooms or buy your own laptop to get around this.

Library

UCD’s James Joyce library contains many books, some of which can be borrowed.

Banking

There are two AIB branches nearby – one on campus, one just off it. In marked contrast to the James Joyce library, these do not contain books. However, they do contain money, some of which can be borrowed.

Residential Accommodation

UCD on-campus accommodation is more expensive than it should be. This is especially true of Roebuck. These apartments look shiny and modern (and appear to be worth the extra few thousand) for the first week or so. Then they take on the forlorn, bedraggled look that is the signature of all student housing. Living on campus is an unbeatable way of making new friends, so you should do it. But save Mammy a few quid by slumming it in Belgrove (or Belgrade, as it’s known) or Merville.

What kinds of sports facilities are there?

There’s an enormous hole in the ground that will become a rather spiffy swimming pool at some point during your time at UCD. There are top-notch hockey, rugby, soccer and Gaelic football facilities. UCD sportspeople have represented Ireland at the highest level: Brian O’Driscoll, Derval O’Rourke and Peter Lawrie are all UCD sports scholars.

UCD has a number of astroturf pitches. Astroturf is no longer cut by astrofarmers in the astrobog because it is a non-renewable astrofuel source. UCD has an athletics track and a competitive athletics team. The sports centre has a climbing wall and trampolines, and facilities for various other comedy sports that people like to take up briefly in first year.

What's the deal with the college bar? Good atmosphere? Cheap drinks?

If the Forum bar (it got a new name, but it would be so damaging to your hip-student credentials to refer to it by this new, boring name, that I’m not going to burden you with the knowledge), were a colour, it would be sepia. It is UCD’s bastion of pseudointellectual discussion.

If the Student Club were a colour, it would be fluorescent green and yellow flashes. Flashing isn’t even a colour; it’s a transition between colours, but the Student Club wouldn’t care. It’s energetic, confident and brash. The Students’ Union runs parties here – Deadmau5, Boys Noize, The Sawdoctors and Crystal Swing have all dropped fat beats here. Well, probably not the latter two. They strummed their guitars vigorously. Or something.

Drinks are adequately cheap. The bars run drink promotions, but they aren’t allowed to advertise them because of sensible-drinking rules. The rationale behind that isn’t entirely clear: binge-drinking is okay, as long as you come across it by accident?

What's the grub like? Good food? Variety?

First of all, I shudder to think that anyone would allow the standards of food available in an institute of higher learning determine their attendance or otherwise. Notwithstanding this concern, the food in UCD is quite unspectacular. The main restaurant offers square meals, but is expensive. Occasionally, the Student Club and shops around campus do good lunch deals.

The SU shops’ prices are fair to cheap, making them ideal places to foster that trendy caffeine dependency you’ve been planning ever since the first time you saw Rachel, Monica and Phoebe gracefully draping themselves across the sofas in Central Perk.

What kind of clubs and societies can students join?

UCD does sport well. Along with all the obvious (read: non-fake) sports, there are clubs for rifle, American football, snowboarding, kayaking and numerous versions of wearing a dressing gown and punching the air.

The range of societies in UCD is spectacular. A unique aspect of the Irish third-level system is that there is so much extra-curricular activity happening, and not in the sordid college-credit-earning way that other countries do it – we do it because it’s fun and worthwhile. UCD is particularly good at this: societies for debating, drama, literature, foreign cultures, LGBT, Islam, comedy, computer games, charity and political parties are all flourishing in UCD.

Getting involved in the Students’ Union and becoming a class rep is a great way to experience the fun and excitement of being a TD without the hassle of having to go back in time and to ensure that your grandfather and father both become TDs first.

There’s award-winning student journalism in UCD too: The University Observer, The College Tribune, Belfield FM and the college television channel all offer aspiring journalists an excellent opportunity to force strangers listen to their opinions.

What advice would you offer new students?

Try your hand at a good number of the aforementioned activities. Do things you wouldn’t normally do, and haven’t done before. Talk to people. Be open, enthusiastic, independent, confident and optimistic. Don’t forget about academic stuff: go to your lectures, unless you’ve a good reason not to. Definitely go to tutorials and practicals.

Do your homework, and keep up with what’s going on academically. It’s not rocket science. Unless, of course, you are actually studying rocket science. If that is the case, I’m afraid I have absolutely no idea what you should do.

What's the "worst thing" a new student can do?

Once, I saw this guy who’d jumped into the UCD lake, fully dressed, in November. He was in a woeful state: violently shivering, and blue, and quite damp. He had neither a towel, nor a change of clothes. Terrible carry-on. Probably best if you didn’t do that.

Jumping into the lake at any time of the year is frowned upon, really. If you must do it, try to avoid hitting the submerged shopping trolleys and traffic cones on the way down. Also avoid the goldfish. We like the goldfish.

What's "the best"?
Once you’ve joined every society that’ll have you, eaten all the free pizza you can snaffle, and drunk all the promotional Aldi energy drink your nervous system can cope with, it’ll be time to settle down. Not the get-a-mortgage type of settling down, but a slightly-more-settled-down type of settling down.

It’s at this point you should join a society properly. Attend the meetings regularly, get to know the people involved, and take part in the activity of the club to the best of your ability. For example, if there’s a weekend away, sign up for it. It’s by doing this – by getting stuck in – that you’ll learn about the world, about other people, about yourself, and generally have a fantastic experience in UCD.

And finally: any other useful stuff you would like to add?
University College Dublin Dublin (as the crest would suggest it’s called) can offer you everything a university could. It’s up to you to get the most out of it. Go for it. Totally, loike.

Eoin Brady

Click here to read Richard Cosgrove's Guide

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