When I was younger, my parents used to take me on these dull, drawn-out trips to Kerry. The journey down was relatively brief but, by virtue of the inevitably bleak tension the aul pair invariably managed to conjure up, felt interminable. Admittedly, the beauty of the landscape meant that there was always something to hold the attention. However, the main thing that lingers with me, even after all these years, is the inescapably drab nature of the experience, how cold and inhuman it felt, regardless of the undoubtedly good intentions.

That, ladies and gentlemen, sums up The Road.

Visually impressive and remorselessly dark, the portrayal of a post-apocalyptic world is excellently created. Too well-created; if you manage to obdurately endure the 111 minutes of this film (it feels at least three times that long, trust me) without lapsing into a brief-but-nonetheless-keenly-felt depressive episode then you are truly a better cinemagoer than yours truly. The hellish dystopia has been faithfully adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s novel and is as uncompromisingly grim. This is not a first date film by any stretch of the imagination.

The performances of Viggo Mortenson and Kodi Smit-McPhee, as the Father-and-Son main protagonists – referred to in the credits as ‘Man’ and ‘Boy’ respectively – live up to this atmosphere. On their odyssey through the devastated wasteland the two are beset with nightmarish obstacles and struggle to retain their humanity in the face of overwhelming circumstances, and it is Smit-McPhee who really shines as the ‘conscience’ of the movie – desperately seeking the reassurance that his father cannot provide.

So far, so miserable – and therein lies the crux. For a film so necessarily dark in setting, it is absolutely vital that the connection between the main characters is emotive and tangible. The whole movie is unequivocally dependent upon it, given that there is precious little else that any audience could latch on to and feel, ‘this is why I am watching, this is what I want to relate to’. Alas, The Road fails dramatically on this point. Neither touching nor particularly memorable, the protagonists really just end up being people you’d find it difficult to give much of a fuck about.

Ultimately, the fault for the unbearably monotonous nature of The Road is Cormac McCarthy’s to bear. This is not the first time one of his works has been accurately brought to the screen and, as then, any missteps in execution are down to him rather than the filmmakers (director John Hillcoat and writer Joe Penhall). The vision is too fatalistic, the characters too unsympathetic, the story too flat, and the experience far too punishing for the viewer.

A strong, well-produced, artfully-directed, beautifully-shot, skilfully put together film with some absolutely fine acting from a truly impressive cast across the board... but the writing is far too dismal, leaving a final feeling of utter despair. I’d rather go to Kerry than watch this again.

- Sebastian Clare