Logo
 Linking to Smedias 2012
 
 Linking to Free Stuff
 
 Linking to The Spanner Homepage
 
 Linking to Entertainment
 
Tabloid advises readers to check under bed for Larry Murphy

Irish people have been urged by ‘the Meeja’ this week to thoroughly check their house for the presence of freed rapist Larry Murphy before going to bed.

The Wicklow criminal, who served 10 years (33% off all this week!) for the rape and attempted murder of a woman in 2000 - and is also suspected of involvement in several other cases - was freed from jail last week to a crescendo of media fury.

The ‘Irish’ Daily Cloud ran a poster campaign warning residents of Baltinglass of Murphy’s presence, but they are now stepping up their campaign of action.

Proudly holding up today’s front page, with its headline “WATCH OUT HE’S BEHIND YOU”, Cloud editor Paul P. O’ Pulist vigorously defended his publication against accusations of sensationalism.

“It’s not sensationalist at all,” he said. “What’s really sensational is our special offer all this week offering a free pair of novelty plastic breasts to every reader. And still only 20 pence! I mean a euro...

“Listen, Murphy’s out roaming the streets and everybody is right to be afraid of him. We advise all our readers to check their house before going to bed.

“Just look in all the usual places you might expect to find monsters: under the bed, in the wardrobe, Limerick. And if you do find him remember to call us with the story as soon as you’ve alerted the Garda.

“We’ll give you updates on his whereabouts every day, until he’s locked up again or some poor eejit who looks like him gets a beating. And I’d just like to say that this constant focus on Murphy has absolutely nothing to do with it being the slowest time of the year for news."

O’Pulist agreed that “being afraid all the time” was probably the best response to Murphy’s freedom, and stated that “the only way to be safe is to buy our newspaper every day”.

O’Pulist added that although he wasn’t advocating mob rule or vigilantism, “you couldn’t blame someone if they gave Murphy a slap or accidentally kicked him to death. Just remember to send us the pics for the front page.”

Bookmark and Share

 

Win an iPad, iPhone or free Pizza!

The generous people at Apache Pizza are giving away 5 ipads, 10 iPhones and 500 large pizzas. All you have to do is complete a 1 minute survey on... Pizza!

 Linking to http://www.apache.ie/onlinesurvey

Spanner Pics

Honest movie trailer

 Linking to Spanner Pics - Honest movie trailer

Joke of the Day

What’s got 99 balls and makes women sweat? Bingo
(Ajay H)

Spanner TV

Donkey hits some high notes...

 Linking to Spanner TV - Singing Donkey
 

Miami named most miserable U.S. city

(Reuters) - Warm sun, white beaches, and million-dollar mansions notwithstanding, Miami has captured the dubious distinction of being the most miserable city in the United States, according to a new poll.

The playground of the rich and famous is home to a crippling housing crisis, one of the highest crime rates in the country, and lengthy daily commutes for workers, all of which have propelled it to the No. 1 position in the Forbes.com list.

"Miami has sun and beautiful weather but other things make people miserable. You have this two-tier society: glitzy South Beach attracts celebrities, but the income inequality has skyrocketed in recent years," explained Forbes Senior Editor Kurt Badenhausen.

The rankings are based on factors including jobless rates, violent crime, foreclosures, income and property taxes, as well as considerations like weather, commute time and political corruption.

Reeling for decades from the decline of the U.S. auto industry, Michigan's troubled duo of Detroit and Flint registered at No. 2 and No. 3, respectively, among the most miserable cities.

"Detroit and Flint are struggling," said Badenhausen. "Violent crime is highest in the country in Detroit; housing prices are down 55 percent. Detroit is closing schools and laying off policemen. In recent years they have been demolishing houses to change their city landscapes"

West Palm Beach, Florida and Sacramento, California rounded out the top five cities.

"We're trying to judge cities where residents have a lot of complaints. It doesn't mean that there aren't terrific things there," he said.

And for the haves Miami's charms remain undiminished.

"The one percent in Miami is doing fantastic. But for the vast majority, who make less than $75,000 (a year), Miami can be a challenging place," he said. "Forty-seven percent of homeowners sit on underwater mortgages. That's tough."