A recent bout of mild and very brief sunshine has brought some much needed happiness and cheer to the Irish people. The nation has been in great need of such a boost following the economic crisis, rise in unemployment, endless fucking snow over the Christmas, and of course, our inherent alcohol issues.

A survey conducted this week has shown that all that political bullshit that everyone was talking about last week has quickly been forgotten in light of the weather improvement. A regular man, Mr. F. Ickle responded with “Politics? What Politics? Look up at the sky man, the only Taoiseach we need is that big bright fella up there! I’d like to see the IMF fuck around with him. He’d fucking roast them”

It seems that the “still quite cold, despite there being sunshine” weather has also brought frivolous spending in supermarkets, with one housewife telling us that “The recession can go and shite. I just got sun tan lotion on 2 for 1, and these flowery shorts for my husband only cost me a fiver. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to saw the roof off my car.”

The sun has also improved social interaction, with people now adding things like “Lovely day, isn’t it?” and “Beautiful weather, eh?” into their short conversations with casual acquaintances that they don’t even like that much anyway.

Anyway, fuck this news-writing, fancy a pint? Lovely day for a cold one.